I am ................... a hard working husband and daddy, who believes you get out of life what you put into it. I have a glass that is half full however, i have no intention of sharing even 1 sip of the contents of my glass with anyone who's main focus in life is to find out what they are 'owed' and 'entitled to'. In fact i dislike people like that so much, that i hope they get a puncture on their way back from their appearance on Jeremy Kyle!
The bravest thing i have ever done.......... is killed the many spiders in our house, to protect my wife and children. I am as scared of them, as the rest of the family, but as the man of the house, it's my duty to play the knight in shining armour. It's worth it to see their faces as i walk back into the room, and see them looking up at me with a look of pride in their eyes......... I'm not just their dad....... i'm their hero !!!
Something that keeps me awake at night...... My wife. She reckons she can't sleep because of my snoring....... so being the loving husband, i decide to let her go to sleep before me, so she is asleep before i start my snoring....................... except she then stays awake til the middle of the night playing Angry Birds on her phone !
My favourite meal....is Sausages, anything with Sausages.... Toad in the Hole, Sausage Casserole, Sausage and Mash, Sausages and Jacket Potato, Sausage Sandwich..... you get the picture!
The way to my heart is ............ permanently closed due to overcrowding. If you're not my wife or children you need to turn left and follow the diversion signs until you reach someone who can make you as happy as they make me.
I would like to be.............Prime Minister. For a start, i would stop lorries from overtaking, secondly i would stop 'Family Allowance', thirdly i would give every citizen the right to 'Bludgeon to Death' anyone who breaks into their home, next i would bring back compulsory national service for anyone without a job for 3 months or more, then i would scrap employment law....if i own a company, nobody should be able to tell me who i can hire or fire, how much i have to pay them, and how many months off they can have if they get 'up the duff'. And finally, last but not least, anyone found spitting at another human being will be publicly stoned live on BBC1 just before Eastenders.