Old Lady Moans and Groans

Family members often told me that I was born before my time so I have always felt older, which is great when you're growing up, but no so good in your 30s and 40s.

I found my first grey hair when I was 25 years old so you'd think that 16 years later I would have embraced them but I dread looking in the mirror because I'm sure they multiply overnight. I just cannot accept them. I have dark hair so that makes them stick out even more, especially when I get short ones that refuse to stay down. As soon as I hit 40 the condition of my hair deteriorated. No matter what shampoo I use it is wiry, has dry ends, knots easily and always looks so dull. 

I was talking to some people on twitter about ID for my 12 year old daughter she looks older than her age and she often gets questioned when asking for child tickets on transport and our own experiences of ID cropped up. I have never once been asked for ID and I'm rather embarrassed by that! It was really cool, at the time, to be able to get into nightclubs at the age of 15 but it bugs me that I have never once been questioned over my age. A friend of mine is in her mid 30s and hasn't aged a day since her late teens. She still gets asked for ID when buying alcohol. So jealous!

Having hip dysplasia contributed to my feeling old. Hobbling and limping all the time and not being able to run around after your children ages you terribly so after recovering from my hip replacement I felt so much younger....for a little while. That's until I went for a recent cervical screening and the nurse suggested that I could be going through the menopause because my cycle is suddenly all over the place. I was not expecting that! I'm going to go with my theory about major surgery have messed up my monthlies rather than my heading into the nightmare of hot flashes, night sweats and HRT patches!

As if that wasn't enough I've started growing hairs on my chin. Argh! I didn't think I'd get those for at least another 40 years. They're often grey too, which you'd think wouldn't be as bad as dark hairs but they catch the light and I can just see people staring at my chin if I've missed one.

It all sounds very superficial and I'd love to be able to stick two fingers up to the ageing......one day I will.

This poem by Jenny Joseph sums up how I'd love to be.

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,

And I shall spend my pension

on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals,

and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired,

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells,

And run my stick along the public railings,

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick the flowers in other people's gardens,

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat,

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go,

Or only bread and pickle for a week,

And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats

and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry,

And pay our rent and not swear in the street,

And set a good example for the children.

We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?

So people who know me

are not too shocked and surprised,

When suddenly I am old

and start to wear purple!